don’t date anyone who isn’t proud of you
i left the house today to hang out with my friends and 3 of my family members just texted me saying “wow you left the house :o”
once i take my bra off, don’t ask me to do shit for u bitch bc once that bra comes off, i am clocked out of life. i am done. i am finished. i am logged the fuck out.
once i went to the movie theater with my friend who wears hijab and while we were sitting down she turned to me and said “people always ask me what i have under here. let me show you” and proceeded to whip out two dorito bags, three hostess cakes, and a pack of gummy worms
don’t call me daddy in bed call me mayor……..tell me how cute my town is